Oh Canada

Trib expecting rational behavior from Canadians. Too much to ask?

Still you've never been as demanding as Mexico. Its issues are our hot tamales; yours, in contrast, have as much impact on our national consciousness as Pablum has on a grownup's tongue. You're not as funky as the Australians or as kooky as the Brits. You're certainly not as annoying as the French or as unpredictable as the Russians -- and for that we are appreciative.

But you need to do more to earn our admiration. That means rebuilding your military (so we don't have to foot the bill for your self-defense) and being more sincere about our importance to you as an ally. (You may not like our presence in Iraq, but what's done is done, and now we expect you to help us establish stability there. Weren't you once peacekeepers?)

Being good neighbors does mean mending fences. We acknowledge your cooperation in border patrol and hope you keep up the good work. Bush says he will reconsider the ban on Canadian beef -- after all only one cow was affected -- but you have to do your share by helping preserve democracy around the world and aiding the war on terrorism. In many ways we're thankful that you are a benign presence, even if a little self-righteous. Now get to work on that fence and stop being a crybaby, eh?

Fun to see a newspaper, like defend the American position, you know?