The VEEP DEEB
The Play By Play
Cheney won the toss and elected to receive, and tries to establish a ground game early with plays to star running back Strength and Resolve, and RB Iraqi Freedom, but was then sacked for a loss by Edwards’ blitzing on third down with rookie defensive end Casualty Statistics and the veteran strong safety Republicans' Quotes. Cheney punted and Edwards took over on his own 35.
Edwards lost a down on a false start but recovered to complete two passes to the Democratic standout Saddam Not Al-Qaeda gaining a first down.
The Cheney defense then held strong, with constant pressure and double-teaming on Edwards’ rookie QB Senate Record. Edwards shanked the punt and Cheney got the ball on their own 30-yard line. Second year Cheney QB Significant Progress caught RB Iraqi Freedom again in the flats, who then tacked on a 18 yard run to give first and ten at the 41. Cheney could not covert but kicker Women Are Voting put the first points on the board from the 33.
Score Cheney 3 Edwards 0
Edwards then goes three and out on opium production. Cheney punts after a third down Hail Mary bomb to aging veteran WR El Salvador is dropped in the end zone. Edwards then ties the game with his first controlled solid drive with first down receptions by Casualty Statistics and RB We Have A Plan. Democratic kicker Tell the Truth converts from the 29.
Score Cheney 3 Edwards 3
2nd Quarter
Cheney then puts together a good drive, with first downs on the $120 billion vs. $200 billion, and 90% vs. 50% of the casualties, and several good carries by running back Denigrating Allies. Cheney scores on a four yard play action reverse around Howard Dean to RB Strength and Resolve.
Score Cheney 10 Edwards 3
Edwards goes three and out on to running plays to We Have A Plan and a short screen to Saddam Not Al-Qaeda. Cheney takes over on the 40 and gets a first down to wide out Exposing Kerry’s Record, before three short runs by Strength and Resolve give Edwards the ball. Cheney comes back strong with the passing game and Denigrating Allies catches 4 times for 75 yards and then scores with a brilliant endzone catch. Edwards’ secondary gets beat deep claiming that the Iraqis are not part of the coalition.
Edwards drives again, relying heavily on WR Saddam Not Al-Qaeda and RB We Have A Plan. We Have A Plan is injured on the drive and Democratic journeyman RB Halliburton gets the nod. Halliburton carries for most of the Edwards drive and gets Edwards within field goal range. After several incompletes, Edwards’ kicker Tell the Truth converts from 31 yards out.
Score at the half: Cheney 10 Edwards 6
3rd Quarter
Cheney scored on the third play of next drive with a breakaway run 50 yard by WR Exposing Kerry’s Record.
Score: Cheney 17 Edwards 6
Edwards gets some yards out of rookie RB Cheney’s Record and WR Family Anecdote but is unable to get into the red zone. Cheney then goes three and out on jobs question, unable to get a first down from RB No Child Left Behind. Edwards comes back with a 64 yards run reception to tight end Tax Cuts for the Rich. The returning RB We Have A Plan carries the ball 14 yards into the red zone. Edwards is then sacked for a loss and settles for another field goal.
Score: Cheney 17 Edwards 9
Edwards goes three and out on passes to Gay Marriage and rookie Nice Guy. Cheney builds a good drive with short screens to tight end Tort Reform and Republican running back Malpractice Reform. WR Exposing Kerry’s Record catches a 22 yarder to put the ball on the 15. Edwards’defensive end Against Big Companies puts pressure on Cheney but a fake hand-off to Tort Reform allows Malpractice Reform to punch the ball through for a touchdown.
Score: Cheney 24 Edwards 9
4th Quarter
Edwards’ rookie QB Senate Record fumbles on 1st down "Heartbeat away" but retains possession. Edwards then loses yardage on penalties for illegal formation of words. Cheney tried injured RB No Child Left Behind, but was effectively shut down by tight coverage by defensive back Unfunded Mandate and an interception by the upstart Canadian that Republicans have not had an answer for all year, Cheap Prescription Drugs.
At the two minute warning:
Edwards’ no huddle offense kicks into gear and QB Senate Record puts together his first strong drive of the half. Several long carries by RB We Have A Plan and first down receptions by WR’s Family Anecdote and Create Jobs bring it into the red zone. We Have A Plan scoring easily up the middle from the seven. Cheney with the lead, comes back with a time soak running game, with Strength and Resolve carrying nearly every down and QB Significant Progress sticking to the ground game to run out the clock.
Final
Cheney 24 Edwards 16
Some key stats:
Cheney
QB Significant Progress:16-24 for 245yds, 1 TD
RB Iraqi Freedom: 12 ca. for 96 yds, 3 rec. 29 yds
RB Strength and Resolve: 16 ca. for 154 yds, 1 TD
WR Denigrating Allies: 7 rec. for 84 yds, 1 TD
WR Exp. Kerry’s Record: 4 rec. for 67 yds
Edwards
RB We Have A Plan: 21 ca. for 174 yds, 1 TD
RB Sadddam Not Al-Qaeda: 7 ca. for 89 yds
WR Casualty Statistics: 6 rec. for 121 yds.
K Tell the Truth 39, 43, 28
Cheney won the toss and elected to receive, and tries to establish a ground game early with plays to star running back Strength and Resolve, and RB Iraqi Freedom, but was then sacked for a loss by Edwards’ blitzing on third down with rookie defensive end Casualty Statistics and the veteran strong safety Republicans' Quotes. Cheney punted and Edwards took over on his own 35.
Edwards lost a down on a false start but recovered to complete two passes to the Democratic standout Saddam Not Al-Qaeda gaining a first down.
The Cheney defense then held strong, with constant pressure and double-teaming on Edwards’ rookie QB Senate Record. Edwards shanked the punt and Cheney got the ball on their own 30-yard line. Second year Cheney QB Significant Progress caught RB Iraqi Freedom again in the flats, who then tacked on a 18 yard run to give first and ten at the 41. Cheney could not covert but kicker Women Are Voting put the first points on the board from the 33.
Score Cheney 3 Edwards 0
Edwards then goes three and out on opium production. Cheney punts after a third down Hail Mary bomb to aging veteran WR El Salvador is dropped in the end zone. Edwards then ties the game with his first controlled solid drive with first down receptions by Casualty Statistics and RB We Have A Plan. Democratic kicker Tell the Truth converts from the 29.
Score Cheney 3 Edwards 3
2nd Quarter
Cheney then puts together a good drive, with first downs on the $120 billion vs. $200 billion, and 90% vs. 50% of the casualties, and several good carries by running back Denigrating Allies. Cheney scores on a four yard play action reverse around Howard Dean to RB Strength and Resolve.
Score Cheney 10 Edwards 3
Edwards goes three and out on to running plays to We Have A Plan and a short screen to Saddam Not Al-Qaeda. Cheney takes over on the 40 and gets a first down to wide out Exposing Kerry’s Record, before three short runs by Strength and Resolve give Edwards the ball. Cheney comes back strong with the passing game and Denigrating Allies catches 4 times for 75 yards and then scores with a brilliant endzone catch. Edwards’ secondary gets beat deep claiming that the Iraqis are not part of the coalition.
Edwards drives again, relying heavily on WR Saddam Not Al-Qaeda and RB We Have A Plan. We Have A Plan is injured on the drive and Democratic journeyman RB Halliburton gets the nod. Halliburton carries for most of the Edwards drive and gets Edwards within field goal range. After several incompletes, Edwards’ kicker Tell the Truth converts from 31 yards out.
Score at the half: Cheney 10 Edwards 6
3rd Quarter
Cheney scored on the third play of next drive with a breakaway run 50 yard by WR Exposing Kerry’s Record.
Score: Cheney 17 Edwards 6
Edwards gets some yards out of rookie RB Cheney’s Record and WR Family Anecdote but is unable to get into the red zone. Cheney then goes three and out on jobs question, unable to get a first down from RB No Child Left Behind. Edwards comes back with a 64 yards run reception to tight end Tax Cuts for the Rich. The returning RB We Have A Plan carries the ball 14 yards into the red zone. Edwards is then sacked for a loss and settles for another field goal.
Score: Cheney 17 Edwards 9
Edwards goes three and out on passes to Gay Marriage and rookie Nice Guy. Cheney builds a good drive with short screens to tight end Tort Reform and Republican running back Malpractice Reform. WR Exposing Kerry’s Record catches a 22 yarder to put the ball on the 15. Edwards’defensive end Against Big Companies puts pressure on Cheney but a fake hand-off to Tort Reform allows Malpractice Reform to punch the ball through for a touchdown.
Score: Cheney 24 Edwards 9
4th Quarter
Edwards’ rookie QB Senate Record fumbles on 1st down "Heartbeat away" but retains possession. Edwards then loses yardage on penalties for illegal formation of words. Cheney tried injured RB No Child Left Behind, but was effectively shut down by tight coverage by defensive back Unfunded Mandate and an interception by the upstart Canadian that Republicans have not had an answer for all year, Cheap Prescription Drugs.
At the two minute warning:
Edwards’ no huddle offense kicks into gear and QB Senate Record puts together his first strong drive of the half. Several long carries by RB We Have A Plan and first down receptions by WR’s Family Anecdote and Create Jobs bring it into the red zone. We Have A Plan scoring easily up the middle from the seven. Cheney with the lead, comes back with a time soak running game, with Strength and Resolve carrying nearly every down and QB Significant Progress sticking to the ground game to run out the clock.
Final
Cheney 24 Edwards 16
Some key stats:
Cheney
QB Significant Progress:16-24 for 245yds, 1 TD
RB Iraqi Freedom: 12 ca. for 96 yds, 3 rec. 29 yds
RB Strength and Resolve: 16 ca. for 154 yds, 1 TD
WR Denigrating Allies: 7 rec. for 84 yds, 1 TD
WR Exp. Kerry’s Record: 4 rec. for 67 yds
Edwards
RB We Have A Plan: 21 ca. for 174 yds, 1 TD
RB Sadddam Not Al-Qaeda: 7 ca. for 89 yds
WR Casualty Statistics: 6 rec. for 121 yds.
K Tell the Truth 39, 43, 28
posted by JCH | 3:34 PM
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